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How Toxic Gratitude Is Killing Your Growth

Maartje Bakker

Updated: Apr 13, 2023

"You can have both" was the sentence that cracked her open.


In front of the other women who had gathered for my workshop this Wednesday, she cried.

I gave her permission for something she desired deeply.

To be grateful - and want more.

As women, we have been told to be grateful for what we have. Be thankful, accepting, and don't ask for seconds.


🙏 You should be happy to HAVE a job.

🙏 You should be grateful to BE married.

🙏 You should be thankful to get PAID at all.

My answer to that is "Heck yes - and fuck no."

I bought into this "toxic gratefulness" for a long time.

My success at work, the promotions, the praise - I thought I shouldn't complain or even allow myself to feel the desire for change.

"Be grateful" is the sentence that diffuses growth. It keeps us stuck, unfulfilled, underpaid, overworked, and straight up unhappy. This week I was reminded of how I redefined this toxic gratefulness for myself. I still show gratitude, but it is accompanied by desire.

Thank you. More please.

✨Thank you for my ambitious, driven, and inspiring clients. I am open for more, please. ✨ Thank you for the loving friends in my life. I am open for more, please.

✨ Thank you for the number in my bank account. I am open for more, please. The woman in my workshop shifted her mindset in 75 minutes. She allowed her gratitude to be accompanied by desire - and she is taking action, just for her. What that action was, stays with those who were together in that yoga studio - but this is the power of coaching. Thank you, more please.


 

Share in a comment or reply in an email to maartje@yourspacetothink.com where you would like to say "Thank you, more please." I'm here to celebrate with you.

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